Navigating Emotional Intelligence in Leadership: Lessons from a Fast-Food Manager
Emotional intelligence, in my opinion, involves comprehending and resolving both external and internal situations. Let me share an example from my experience as a store manager at a fast-food restaurant, while also being a parent to my son.
The Challenge of Managing Family in the Workplace
Working with family members tests emotional intelligence on a unique level. Internally, I had to confront nepotism, activating the self-awareness component of emotional intelligence. Since my son works with me, I had a candid in-depth conversation with him:
“At work, I’m your boss, not your dad. A lot of crazy things happen over the course of a shift. If I get mad it’s at the situation not you”
I emphasized taking responsibility seriously and avoided dwelling on the possibility of a snap judgment disciplining of him. I believed instilling ownership would suffice.
But reality soon tested this approach.
When Personal and Professional Lines Blur
60 days into his employment, I noticed delays in the kitchen while customers grew impatient. Lines extended out the door, and I overheard a customer remark:
“I don’t know why this is so hard. A monkey could do his job!”
The tension escalated when I saw my son arguing with a coworker. Frustrated because I saw him as the reason things were going slow and now I’m being judged and reduced to an animal by someone, I snapped:
“Son, be quiet!”
A misstep. The crew and customers alike were watching, and I had unknowingly shifted from being a manager to being a dad.
This moment forced me to reflect on emotional intelligence and the role it plays in managing not just crises but relationships, workplace dynamics, and personal growth.
Emotional Intelligence in Action: 7 Key Lessons
Navigating emotionally charged situations requires a high degree of emotional intelligence. Here are the lessons I’ve learned:
- Self-Awareness
Recognizing your emotions is the first step to managing them. When I heard the remark about a “monkey,” it triggered personal and historical pain. Taking a moment to breathe deeply and center myself before reacting helped me respond more effectively.
Added Insight: Stress can impair decision-making. Understanding how your brain reacts under pressure helps you plan calmer, more rational responses. This is a reminder that emotional intelligence is an ongoing process. Racism and prejudice always plays on emotions.
- Empathy
I empathized with the customer’s frustration but knew the comment was inappropriate. By expressing understanding through body language, maintaining eye contact and offering a calm nod, rather than verbally engaging with that offensive remark, I attempted to defuse the situation without escalating tensions further.
- De-Escalation and Communication
Embarrassing my son in front of others undermined his morale. Instead, I should have calmly addressed the immediate issue with the customer, troubleshoot the issues in the kitchen, and then taken my son aside for a private conversation. Maintaining professionalism sets the right tone for the team and shows respect for individual employees.
Added Insight: Delegating tasks during high-stress moments can empower your team while giving you the space to address critical issues more strategically.
- Conflict Resolution
The root cause of the delay needed attention. Rather than focusing on who was arguing, I should have taken a step back and assessed the situation objectively. Facilitating a calm discussion with the staff, focusing on solutions and collaborative problem-solving, would have been more effective.
Added Insight: Proactively identifying potential conflicts—like assigning clear roles during busy shifts—can prevent future crises.
- Education and Awareness
Moments like these are opportunities for growth. I could have led a team discussion about handling prejudice and racism professionally, emphasizing the importance of reporting such incidents and supporting each other. Standing against inappropriate behavior is vital, but so is teaching composure in the face of adversity.
Added Insight: Hosting regular training sessions on workplace challenges can equip teams with skills to respond calmly and professionally in similar situations.
- Emotional Regulation
Encouraging the team to practice emotional regulation is crucial. Staying calm under pressure allows for more effective problem-solving and better leadership.
Added Insight: Simple mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing or stepping away for a brief moment, can help you reset during stressful situations.
- Support and Empowerment
After the incident, I should have reassured my son and the team of their value. Empowering employees by acknowledging their roles and contributions fosters a culture of resilience and trust.
Added Insight: Documenting incidents like these can serve as a playbook for handling similar challenges in the future, ensuring smoother responses and clearer expectations.
Final Reflection
As a leader, your actions set the tone for your team. By prioritizing emotional intelligence, you can build a workplace culture that balances accountability with empathy. Had I understood these strategies earlier, I could have created a more resilient and understanding environment.
Crisis Management Insights
- Understanding the biological effects of stress helps leaders remain calm and decisive.
- Proactive preparation—like clear role delegation and team training—minimizes crisis impact.
- Reflecting on past incidents provides valuable insights to refine leadership approaches.
Join the Conversation
Have you ever had a situation like that and what strategies do you use to navigate emotionally charged situations? Share your insights and join the conversation. Let’s continue learning and growing together!